...i'll try to stay focused long enough to get this post out....if I pass out, please send help...
Last Thursday was Thanksgiving, which we all know is an annual holiday for giving thanks for the dogs in your life. All that turkey and gravy and potatoes get tested for poison at the big table, and work their way down to my dish. It's a tradition.
Not this year.
I've been living through one of the most cruel and vile events ever to occur to a dog. I've been biting my leg a little - nothing serious (I'm a dog, remember??), but the girl started freaking out - so she scheduled a visit to the vet on Friday, after they came back from their little dinner trip on Thursday with mountains of leftovers in tow.
I get into the vet's office, little Bark Rarve statue - I figure everything's cool. I kid you not - the first words out of her lying mouth are "My Goddd. Look how fat that dog is. Oh-my-goodness, I don't think we all can fit in the same examining room." And it begins.
We left there with a mountain of pills and wipes and salves all meant to trim me down to size. That would have been OK, but the final killer edicts were "A little more tea. Cut down on the rice." which roughly translates to "cut the food in his dish in half, no human food, and no treats except for things you know he won't eat, like carrots or beans". As a practical matter, this means NO turkey, NO stuffing, NO gravy, NO NOTHING. Dear God - is this how you repay my loyalty... It's only been a few days, and I've wasted away to nothing...well...almost nothing...
...getting faint, will try to post more soon...send help (AND FOOD) if you can...mother, is that you??.....
...Arf...
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