The One Where I Jump Up On The Bed And All Hell Breaks Loose…

So, if you are all my Friends, we can get to the horrible detail.  Yes, I had a moment of weakness, and jumped on Mom’s bed.  With muddy paws.  Fully expected to catch a beating, after all, that is the point of the blog – getting beaten and complaining to my adoring public.  But no.  She shrieked, then said nothing.  I think it’s worse disappointing Mom than actually making her mad…

Anyways, I’ve been trying to make up for it by leaving food (in case she wants any), and hanging around when they sleep (in case there’s any problem), but nothing…let me just rest my eyes for a minute…

Intruder Alert…..Intruder Alert

I don’t know if I’m going Berzerk, or if I’m just in a Frenzy, but it seems like lately my life is a series of waves of vaguely similar situations, with incrementally more demands on me, until I get chased to some relative safety to catch my breath until the whole series starts again…

Chicken…..Fight Like A Robot 

Oh – I must be dreaming...no wait, that’s the Wisconsin election cycle – with Evil Otto Barrett and his minions of whiny followers calling a do-over of the election just a couple of years ago.  Note to self, it’s shameless enough to LEAVE rather than do the job you were elected to do, but if you actually try to recall someone because you disagree with them, representative government is over.  Go Scott Walker – if not for (only) for his cause, then for the fact that it reinforces the fact that elections should matter, and that a loud minority can’t just cry until they get their way…

Oh well, speaking of babies…

I’ve been waking up and seeing KIDS in the house lately – school is out…  the good news is that John will be able to walk to Middle School from the new digs, the bad news (from his perspective) is that he’ll be able to walk with Thomas – who just graduated from elementary school J.

I think they’re starting to get the hang of Texas, they walked around the driveway without me leading them by a leash.  They put the new/old basketball thingy back together (much cursing, looking to the heavens for parts, and trying to find assembly instructions on the interwebs) – and they finally got there, too.  Stupid humans, give them arms and look what they do, try to bounce a ball into a hole above their heads.  If I could hold a pencil, I could solve all the world’s problems…  As it is, back to chasing squirrels…

…or lizards – they are small and fast and wiry – haven’t caught one yet, but I know I almost pulled the old man’s arm out of its socket trying to get to one…heh, heh…  He had it coming from the day he tried to get the shelter guys to not let them adopt me…I may be a dog, but I can carry a grudge…  What happened the last time you help up the Yoshi doll to tease me??  Where’d you get bit???  That’s right…THAT’S where J  don’t forget it… now get me some chips or something…

Arf

Act. Of. God.

You all know that I’m a pretty regular dog – keep the house safe for the family, free from cats and squirrels, all the basic stuff – but the problem is that this crazy family can’t stay put.  I must have moved 1000 times in the last couple of years.  First we had the little house with the tiny yard, then we had the house with the big snowy deck (and my love Izzy and Rorshach).  Then, The Move.  Stuck in a million different shelters, then drugged and driven cross country because of the species-ist policies of the airlines…traveling like baggage, indeed…then spend a night in an apartment, all to get dragged to some goofy house from the 60s with a nasty pool and VERY LITTLE GRASS in the yard.

Very Disconcerting.

At least I met Smitty and his family, and we’ve been securing the perimeter for the howl (whole?) Woods of Westlake for a few months now.  Developing a little routine – get the kids out, nudge the old man out of bed, bark for us to do rounds, even guarding the adults at night (the crate gets a little lonely).  But there was always one constant through the whole thing.  Only one.

Junky Blue Couch

Its place has changed – it’s gone from the main TV couch (Olive for a while) to off to the side (Hoyne) or into the dad’s office, but it’s always been the place I can go to curl up off the floor without getting a swat.  

It’s MY place.

Until yesterday.  The girl called the Salvation Army to take MY couch away.  I was sad.  The three boys begged Cruella not to do it, but to no avail.  The couch was going to take “The Long Walk” and there was nothing I could do about it.  So, I kept a stiff upper lip, and went in to say my final goodbyes.  I even wrote a bye-ku:

So long junky couch

You’ve always been so comfy

Go and help someone

So, when the Salvation Army got here, I was brave.  I didn’t cry.  I didn’t howl and bite.  I was resigned to losing my friend, but hopeful there would be another dog (or kid) who would be able to enjoy JBC as much as we have.  The kids watched the Sox win the World Series on that couch.  We all watched the Hawks win the Cup from there.  We watched Manning beat Brady the first time on it (well, I did – they were on the leather sofa then…).

OK – I cried a little.

It was like Cypher in the Matrix when he’s talking to Trinity, and all he has to do is unplug Neo, and tells her there’d have to be some kind of act of God to save him at this point. 

And there was.

Just like Tank coming up and killing Cypher, the Salvation Army guys said – “That REALLY IS a Junky Blue Couch – far TOO junky to even give away to somebody else…thanks, but no thanks…”  And thus was Junky Couch saved.

By an Act. Of. God.

Can I get an Amen for that??

Now, in reality, I don’t know whether to be happy or offended, but right now, I’m leaning towards happy.  In fact, I’m curled up right now…

Arf.

PS – the big deal is that this whole thing started up again because movers showed up again.  Who knows where I’ll be posting from the next time.  I can only guarantee that I will never post from poolside…

2012. So far the Mayans are full of crap.

OK – February 2011 – I mean 2012.  God, things are happening so fast.  I’m starting to feel like a middle aged dog…all I do is sit at the top of the stairs and watch the world go by.  I reread the earlier posts, and it sounds like a different dog.

Austin’s been OK, and the kids are great.  Both kids had birthdays, seems like it happens every year...(FL grandma...where are you??) time for a brief recap... John is a TEENAGER – O.M.G. as the kids say – he sat for the SAT and ACT last month, his team working on a mechanical engineering competition just won first place locally, and are going to the state finals in Corpus Christi, he tried out for his schools’ golf team yesterday and did OK.  Thomas won his school Science Fair last month, regionals are this Saturday…unfortunately he broke his arm playing on his awesome new bike, which will keep him off the baseball field this year, but he’s meeting his team today…  The girl doesn’t feed me enough, but we get out and walk a lot – it was in the 80’s yesterday – I slept all afternoon.

John's team - his foot is visible in the center - he's a dead cat...don't ask...you can see the weight stack on their structure.  I'd tell you how much their structure weighed and how much it held, but I'd have a crazy cat, rat and dog after me for spilling the beans out of the poke (follow that...) before regionals...  mmm...Chick-Fil-A

If there are birthday, there are cake (and Chauncey) nearby....

Cake and a cast - it's a kid's dream!!

Updated 2/24 to add John's birthday :)  Look out world, he now has a phone and he's no longer a tween...

The dad is another thing – he’s been weird lately…  the whole Austin thing hasn’t really caught on with him yet – the work and golf are ok (I even think he tried to play chess again last month), but I think this is the farthest he’s ever been from concrete and baseball in his whole life, and he’s like 300+ years old in dog years…  He needs a hobby, or maybe just to pick ONE…  I’ll grab a rope and see if he wants to play later…

There was a biology experiment in the pool for the last couple of months – I think it was part of Thomas’ science project.  I knew it was a bad scene, man…  Bark, get outside, stay close to the wall, head to the garden, head back – close to the wall, bark, head back in, sleep…  lather, rinse, repeat.

Dog stream of consciousness…cool…

Arf.