For the purists...

Tuesday - started to eat a shoe - got a pretty good smack (4 or so CA).  Are you happy now?

So, to retaliate, I decided to have a little sick-in this morning.  No morning patrols, no happy greeting the kids at the stairs, no friendly acknowledgement of how yummy their breakfast looks. Nothing.  Just sat in the crate all morning.  I can't imagine how they started their day without me.  That'll teach 'em.

Plus it was raining - they can't expect me to walk outside in the rain, now, can they?  Fascists.

Tonight, I think I'll wait until the kids are asleep, and they start to watch a movie or something, then bark for about 45 minutes for no particular reason.  That'll really teach 'em.  ...or I'll get hit again - see what I do for you people...

(BTW - went to the polling place Tuesday, but they wouldn't let me vote.  My IL License is up-to-date and everything...  Had to walk around the block while the parents voted in turn.  More on this later, unless I forget.)

Arf.

Hallow-where’s MY candy, you stupid humans??

I had a busy weekend – went to (another) football game on Saturday – the kid’s last – he made a couple of nice plays, but the real tailwagger was the pizza party afterwards.  The family knows better, but around 30-40 new people, put on a little yelpy pouty face when no one’s looking, and – JACKPOT – I had all those other kids and their families eating out of my hands – well, actually, I was eating out of theirs J yum.  Stupid humans.

For fun, they carved up pumpkins and put scary faces on them, and then do you know what they did?  They LIT THEM ON FIRE.  No, sir – the second I saw that fire, I ran as fast as I could for cover.   Stupid humans.

Went trick-or-treating with the kids and girl on Sunday night.  Where’s PETA?  If I go begging for food, I get hit (or worse).  No two ways around it.  But they prance around the neighborhood in costumes, shooting things and scaring people, demanding candy...and everyone not only gives them candy (!), but they tell them what good boys they are (still having trouble understanding English – it was something like that – anyway, they WEREN’T GETTING HIT).  It’s a tough life being a dog, I tells ya.  Stupid humans.

BTW – the dad and the little kid ran a 5K yesterday – and the old guy looked pretty bad afterwards.  There’s a word for that shade of green, but I’m a dog, so I don’t know it.  Stupid humans.

I know what you’re thinking – I haven’t really been hit in a few days – yeah, well, I know.  Whaddaya want me to do about it?  Jump up on a counter and take a bullet for your benefit?  Not gonna happen.  They gave me a baseball the other day – ripped the cover off in about 2 minutes – did you know there were worms inside a baseball??  Yeah – I have a short attention span – hey, was that a squirrel?

Arf.