Yankees won yesterday - saved my hide...

So, I have four humans in my house, two big ones and two little ones.  The little ones and the biggest big one live somewhere else during most days - they even wake me up in the morning with their clatter - I hate that.  The other big one is my maid/cook/concierge – she gets me pretty much everything I ask for, even comes with me when I walk around the neighborhood in case I need anything. 

At night, though, they watch little people run and dance through a window in my living room - yesterday we could see the Yankees.  Usually every 15 min or so, there are dogs or other animals running through the window.  I’ll get up and yell if I think there’s anything threatening on there (like any master of the house would – protecting my domain), how do think it’s repaid?  Yup – either I get yelled at, or occasionally even a little rap on the butt (about 0.5 on the Chauncey Abuse – CA – scale) - what, am I supposed to just let any old dog (or CAT!!) come into MY house and take my kibble?? 

I.  THINK.  NOT.

But that’s the price I pay for vigilance, and a small price it is.

Speaking of costs - most nights, if I try to clean up a little (where is that maid?) and try to grab some chips or some chicken off a table, I know the price will be either a quick smack on the table (ow, my sensitive ears) or a wave of a newspaper – between 0.5 and 1.5 CA.  If I go up on the counter, though, trying to save them the time of putting it into my dish, they hate that.  Depending on what’s up there, for chips it’s a newspaper wave (0.5 CA), all the way up to a “drag-back-to-the-scene-of-the-crime” with some sharp swats and a humiliating nose rub thrown in (all together about 8.0 CA) for good measure…but it was a good steak…

Tonight, however, with the Yankees on, I knew I had a rare opportunity.  The three boys made a giant cake for me last weekend, but for some reason hadn’t actually given me any yet.  With the game on, I asked for some cake, just a little whiney growly request, but…nothing.  They were busy or distracted, and God helps those who help themselves, so, up I went.  Got a couple of mouthfuls – pretty good, but not as good as the cook’s – when I heard them ask me politely from the other room to stop exerting myself on the counter…  What would usually be a 4.0-5.0 CA offense knocked down to a 0.2 CA bark?

GO YANKEES!!

Arf.